Skip to content
Quick Summary: In The Practicing Mind, Thomas M. Sterner explores a counterintuitive but deeply freeing idea: goals don’t matter as much as the process.
Sterner argues that most of our frustrations stem from obsessing over the end result rather than staying present in the act of achieving it.
When we focus on the process, progress happens naturally, without stress or self-judgment.
Tapan’s Verdict: Skim it 🤓
The Practicing Mind: Actionable Insights
Detach from the Goal and Trust the Process
- One of the book’s most repeated ideas is that when you obsess over the outcome, frustration and impatience follow. Instead, treat the goal like a compass, let it guide your practice but not define your success.
- Sterner advises focusing all your attention on the present moment, not on how far you still have to go. Progress is the natural result of staying process-oriented.
This mindset is key to mastery in any field, much like Josh Waitzkin’s approach to learning through layered, deliberate refinement.
You have acknowledged the goal; now let go of it and put your energy into the practice and process that will move you toward that goal.
Thomas Sterner
🚨 Quick sidebar: Finding this book summary helpful? You should subscribe to my newsletter to get similar actionable insights from books.
Psttt, you will also get a free copy of my ebook, Framework for Thoughts, when you sign up!
Patience and Discipline are Paradoxically Interlinked
Building patience and discipline feels like a chicken-and-egg problem, each requires the other.
But Sterner argues that practising small, deliberate steps helps both grow naturally. His recommendation? Simplify, break things into small chunks, and go slow.
The four “S” words: simplify, small, short, and slow.
Grades and External Judgments Can Create False Identities
Sterner shares how society’s obsession with measuring results, whether through grades, test scores, or other external metrics, can distort self-worth.
We begin to believe that our value is tied to achievements, turning life into an endless quest for validation.
The antidote? Shift focus to internal growth and practice for its own sake. External markers can guide, but they shouldn’t dictate who you are.
Expectations Are the Source of Frustration
Sterner highlights how expectations, rooted in the future, lead to restlessness and dissatisfaction. Every time we tell ourselves that we’ll be happy once we get there, we miss the joy of now. This cycle keeps us trapped, chasing a moving target of “perfection.”
Much like Girard’s concept of mimetic desire, we unconsciously adopt others’ desires, chasing goals because we believe they’ll complete us.
Instead, notice when impatience arises and ground yourself in the present task.
Experiencing impatience is one of the first symptoms of not being in the present moment.
The Perception of Time Separates Adults from Children
Children, Sterner notes, live in the present without consciously choosing to do so.
Adults, however, lose this natural presence due to time perception, constantly planning, comparing, and evaluating.
The key to reclaiming childlike focus? Observe your internal dialogue and notice how much time you spend judging yourself.
“If you step back and observe your internal dialogue from time to time during the day, you will be amazed at how hard you work against yourself with this type of thinking.”
Memorable Quotes
A paradox of life: The problem with patience and discipline is that developing each of them requires both of them.
Progress is a natural result of staying focused on the process of doing anything.
When you focus on the process, the desired product takes care of itself with fluid ease.
